Strike Back!
by KO-2
Summary: Very funny, very random.


It is a beautiful day in Makida City and in the mist of mid-summer our story starts in the walls of Junko High School with a few interesting characters.

"Crap, crap, crap, I'm going to be so late today."

The boy with the really bad bed head and wrinkled school uniform, his name and is Yamashite Daisuke and he is late for school…. Again.

"Hey watch where you're going Yama-san!"

"Sorry!"

Yamashite dashes through the halls of the school trying to get to class before it starts in the next three minutes. Maneuvering from one corner to another, he quickly meets a white light that is immediately followed by and sharp pain to the head. His vision clears as he realizes that he is on the ground.

"Aw man that hurt. Hey are you OK?"

After asking that question he noticed who he was talking too. It was none other than Murakami Junichi, his childhood friend/ executioner. Yamashite gulped hard and tried to slowly get up, but Murakami gave him a sharp look.

"Eh, hey there Murakami-san. Um about the little incident that just happened I just want to say I'm really sorry about running into you… again…"

"Yamashite, how many times do I have to tell you not to run in the halls? Better yet, how many times have I told you I would kill you if you kept running into me?"

"Just short of a million."

Murakami's eyes went from piercing angry to lifeless rage. Yamashite knew this look all too well and he knew he had about three to five seconds to disappear.

"Well it's been fun but I think I'll be leaving now- eeep!"

"And just where the hell do you think you're going?"

Murakami grabbed Yamashite's collar and held him in place. Yamashite struggle to get away from the extremely pissed off Murakami in fear of the thought of him making good on his many promises and killing him and hiding his body at the bottom of the ocean.

"Murakami-san please, I'm going to be late for class."

"You probably should have thought of that before you ran into me."

Murakami pulls Yamashite closers to him with inhuman strength.

"Aw man, this is going to hurt."

Yamashite closes his eyes bracing for the worst when he suddenly heard a cry.

"MURAKAMI YOU BIG BULLY!"

"Huh?"

A small woman comes flying through the air, her skirt flapping through the breeze. Murakami quickly closes his eyes so as not to look. A last, in doing so he was struck with a small foot across the face sending him flying and crashing to the ground.

"Watanabe-san thank you, you're a life saver."

"Well it's only natural that the strong protect the weak."

"Weak?!"

This lolicon fuel with the super hero like pose is named Watanabe Katsumi. She's a self-proclaimed hero of the weak, even when she's not really needed. It is said that she one time single handedly took down the neighborhood gang without so much as a sweat. Since that day she was feared by all the boys and envied by all the girls. She quickly became friends with Yamashite and Murakami after defending Yamashite from one of Murakami's many rage induced beat downs. She later found out that it was just childhood friend shenanigans. The three now take part in this almost daily routine where Yamashite is the damsel in distress and Watanabe is the knight and shining armor that saves him from the evil clutches of Murakami.

"Damn it Watanabe you monster, I could have been killed!"

"Well that's what you get for picking on poor little Yamashite-san."

She aggressively cradles Yamashite's head between her tiny little arms. Yamashite gasped for air as he was being strangled by someone half his size. I mean like literally, she's half his size.

"I don't like this one bit."

She releases him from her clutches causing Yamashite to drop. He picks himself up and dust his self-off.

"Well now that my work is done here, I'm off to save more weaklings!"

Watanabe gives and victory pose and dash off in a random direction.

"Ah Watanabe-san don't go that way!"

"What was that? Eh… uh oh…"

In her extreme moment, Watanabe hadn't realized that she jumped out of a window. Yamashite and Murakami gives her a slow wave good bye as she slowly watches gravity take her to a painful end.

"You think she'll be OK?"

"I think a better question would be is the ground OK."

"Murakami that's mean."

"Never said I was nice."

"Well that was obvious."

"What was that?!"

Just before Yamashite could answer, the bell for the next class to start rang. Both Yamashite and Murakami looked at each other for a moment before rushing off to their next class.

"I can't believe you two were late again!"

"Sorry Sato-san."

"Sorry? Sorry isn't going to fix everything you know."

"Why am I getting scolded anyway? I tried to get to class, but the walking time bomb here kept me from doing that."

"Walking time bomb?!"

"Uh oh he's going to blow again."

"Why you-"

"Shut it both of you!"

The lady here giving Yamashite and Murakami the third degree is Sato Masami. She's more or less the big sister of these two even though she's a year younger than them.

"Alright what's it going to take for us to be let off the hook?"

"Excuse me?"

"I know, how about a little this and that?"

"Yamashite you truly are an idiot."

"Th-this and that?"

"You know… this and that."

"You draw up a good argument Yamashite-san."

"Wait you're not actually considering it are you?"

"But Murakami-san it's this and that."

Murakami was at a loss for words. Just what in the hell were these two thinking and in the middle of class and right in front of him?

"Nya~ Yamashite-san you're always too rough."

"Heh, heh it's because you're always so tight in this area."

"Yamashite-san, lower."

"Right there?"

"Ah! Yes!"

"You two really are idiots."

Murakami sits in disgust as he is forced to watch Yamashite give Sato and back massage. The two always made the weirdest noises when he did it too so it made him really uncomfortable.

"Being in a teacher's assistant is such back breaking work."

"I bet, but luckily for you I do this for my mother when she gets home from work."

"Even though I am completely disturbed right now about this whole thing, does this mean we're off the hook?"

"I suppose I can overlook your actions this time, but don't let it happen again."

Murakami crossed his arms and turned his head in an aggressive manner while Yamashite finished up. The three then exit class and began to head home.

"So Murakami-san want to go to the shopping district today? There is a new visual novel that came out last week that I want to try."

"Can't, I have to go to my father's dojo today."

"Oh yeah, how's that going by the way?"

"The man's a monster in human skin, but he wants me to take over someday so I have to bear with it for the time being."

"Huh, if you keep this up you'll be a hero like Watanabe-san."

"I will never be like that animal!"

"Did someone ring?"

"Huh?"

"Not again."

Murakami braces him as Watanabe sores out of the air and lands on top of Murakami's head making Yamashite flinched in both pain and surprise.

"I, the great Watanabe Katsumi, am here to dish out justice to all who do evil."

"Um, Watanabe-san, you're killing Murakami-san. That is to say that the blow itself didn't already do it."

Watanabe looks under her feet to see the dazed and wounded Murakami bleeding from his skull. Her facial expression went from dynamic to despair within seconds. Murakami slowly started to move making Watanabe scream in terror and jump into Yamashite's arms.

"It's a zombie! Yamashite-san kill it- or at least be its food while I escape…"

"WHAT WAS THAT LAST PART?!"

"Watanabe…"

"It knows my name! Watanabe secret move number three eighty two. Yama toss!"

Watanabe grabs Yamashite by the collar and flings him towards Murakami. Murakami deflects the oncoming projectile sending Yamashite flying into orbit.

"Yamashite's blasting off again!"

"You idiot, we'll get sued if you say things like that!"

"Watanabe…"

"Eck, you're still coming?"

"I want your soul."

"No!"

Watanabe completely losses her sense of things and begins striking at Murakami's face. Each blow connecting and doing a large amount of damage. Murakami is met with a flurry of white flashes every two seconds until final Watanabe cocked her fist back and gave him and good blow to the skull sending him flying just like Yamashite.

"Murakami's blasting off again!"

"What did I just say?! Geez… Well never the less… I did it! (F.F. victory theme)."

Yamashite and Murakami wake up to find themselves in an alleyway and covered in trash. Murakami dust himself off, meanwhile Yamashite was underneath him dazed and talking nonsense.

"Damn that Watanabe. The next time I see her I'm going to-"

"No mommy I don't want any more candy."

"Yamashite wake up you idiot."

Murakami gives Yamashite a good slap and shake to get him normal again, whatever that meant in Yamashite.

"Huh? Murakami-san why are you at my mother's house."

"… Wow that actually hurt to think about."

Murakami started to head out the alley. Yamashite follows closely behind him making Murakami want to send him flying again.

"And just where the hell do you think you're going?"

"With you obviously."

"Why, dare I ask?"

"Well I was thinking maybe it's time for me to start being a man and this would be a great first step."

"There is no way my father would approve of you trying to learn martial arts."

"Well we'll never know unless we try now will we?"

"Of course you can study with Junichi."

Murakami is shocked stupid at what his father just said. What's more it was the reason his father said yes that he hated the most.

"Lower please Yamashite-san."

"Right there Mr. Murakami?"

"Yeah and please call me master from now on."

"Father, I must object. This idiot would never survive your beginning stages let alone get to the level I'm at."

"Junichi my son you must understand one thing and one thing only."

"What is that father?"

"As a martial artist… I have a lot of back pains, and I think your little friend here would make a fine addition to our dojo- aw yeah that's the ticket."

Murakami freezes in disbelief. He had begged his father over and over to train him and this idiot name Yamashite Daisuke did it without flinching. He now knew the dangers of his new opponent.

"How's that master?"

"Yamashite-san, you've got the magic fingers of a true martial artist."

Or maybe the world really was filled with morons. This was something Murakami was seriously contemplating.


End file.
